The UA Upgrade Game

I'm heading back to Washington on Sunday night for a four-day business trip, and the usual tension is rising. Not about the work involved, or the change in climate. It's about the ever elusive upgrade.

I have stuck with United Airlines through thick and thin over the years. When I was a frequent traveler to Europe in the 1990s, I was an e-fare fanatic, grabbing at every cut-rate fare to Amsterdam or Brussels I could manage, and never afraid to fly in coach on their 767s or 777s. When my focus switched to Brazil in 1998, I stayed with UA and built up half a million miles in the process. For a short time, the upgrade on those long, brutal flights was almost a no-brainer.

But as anyone who flies the GRU-IAD routes knows, times have changed radically.

The old, withering 767s that United persistently flies on these routes are miserable to travel in. Even in business class, the seats are often broken in some way or the video screens, the reading lights or the meal trays are not working right. At least half the time, they get my special meal requests wrong. United is renovating its premium cabins on international flights - so I hear - but it's clear that the planes on the GRU routes are going to be the last ones in service. And the seats in economy class - no matter where you sit - are a notch above Aeroflot on those old planes. The flights are almost always packed full.

When I was in my 20s, it wasn't such a sacrifice to lose a night's sleep on an overnight flight. At 40, it has consequences. And not just esthetic ones. Given the level of energy I need on a business trip, and the amount of time it takes to regain when lost, I dread those long nights of sitting up in a cramped, uncomfortable seat and cursing myself for even agreeing to travel at all. With the upgrade to business, even on the putrid 767s of United Airlines, there is at least a hope of some sleep. Even four hours would be enough to get through the first day and catch a great night's sleep the night after, at my destination.

So, despite my copious miles and my elite status with United, I still am pushed onto wait lists for upgrades. And that always means I'll be left wondering until the very last minute of the boarding process whether I'll get it or not. Given how bad business class has become on United, every time trips like this are approaching I wonder why I bother with this crummy airline.

I know the whole airline industry is dealing with some very tough issues these days, and several companies are likely to disappear in the next year or two through bankruptcies or mergers. But there is definitely also something wrong with United Airlines' priorities. I'm a business traveler who has increasingly wide choices for flights from Brazil to the United States. I've sampled American Airlines a couple of times now on my business trips to Jamaica, and without any elite status I have managed to score upgrades to business class on their GRU-MIA and GRU-JFK flights with little effort. And their 777s have a business class that is sheer heaven compared to United. They have flat-bed seats in their big biz cabin -- a lot of them -- and have done away with First altogether. (Gee, I wonder why the upgrades are so much easier to get...) The crew is friendly and helpful, and the food isn't half bad. They have entertainment on demand, and you don't freeze to death in the window seats. In contrast, United's clanky old 767s still have an antiquated, tiny First Class cabin with 10 seats that don't lie flat, and where one seat is perpetually reserved for pilot rest. Could those seats possibly be worth the many thousands charged for them? How many extra business seats could they fit in if they followed American's lead? And the crews working the GRU flights are usually in their 50s or older, which means they have much less energy or desire to tend to you beyond the minimal requirement.

Yes, United is getting with the program and putting flat-bed seats in all their business cabins, but the amount of time it's taking for the Brazil flights to be changed over is just a reflection of how much contempt it seems that United has for its business customers on those routes. We've always, it seems, gotten the worst of United's lot in every way for many years now. For the first couple years, it was annoying. Now it's just galling.

I've made the decision that it's not worth it anymore. I'm scaling back travel for the next year anyway, sticking closer to home in most respects and only anticipating a couple of new trips to Jamaica and that's it. I won't be flying United to Kingston. So why should I fly United at all anymore?

So we'll see what goes down Sunday night.