Kill the Fags

We were lucky enough to spend New Year's Eve in Paris again this year, but as the French would have it, we were denied the pleasure of experiencing a smoke-free celebration, since we left too soon.

A smoking ban went into effect in France on January 1, following similar bans around Western Europe, and across the pond in Washington, D.C., New York City and the State of California, among many other U.S. locales. But alas, they decided not to enforce it until January 2 because the French would be so busy reveling all night and into the morning that it would be silly to turn the hoses on the smokers precisely at midnight.

And no, it wasn't a sign that Paris, or France for that matter, would be resisting an end to the café society cliché of billowing smoke from filter-less Galoises with every espresso. Yes, there are some smokers grousing about the ban, but for most of the French it's a welcome change. As one ex-pat American who lives in Paris very astutely put it, this linking of cigarettes and France in our minds is a relatively new thing, and becoming a dated one.

"The French culture associated with smoking is a 20th-century thing, but we won't forget the experience," ex-smoker Lisa Zane, a Chicago-born singer who lives in Paris, said at Le Fumoir (The Smoking Den) restaurant and bar behind the Louvre.

"Smoking seems insane now; we have to adapt."

The Health Ministry says one in two regular smokers here dies of smoking-related illness, and about 5,000 nonsmokers die each year of passive smoking. About a quarter of France's 60 million people are smokers.

Now, I may be a libertarian and all, but on this one I surrender. When the smoking ban went into effect in New York, the clubbing experience changed dramatically -- for the better. You didn't come home stinking of smoke after a good night (which was not exactly a turn-on for a non-smoker seeking some after-hours fun), and there wasn't that sensation of someone wearing cleats and standing on your chest afterwards either. Then, when it (finally!) arrived in D.C., it made the whole gay experience ten times better, not to mention dining out.

Hence, Latin America is way behind on this issue. Uruguay has a very tough smoking ban -- but who among us does that help? Buenos Aires city adopted a lame pseudo-ban last October that, much like the majority of laws in Argentina, is full of holes and easy to violate.

In São Paulo, however, it might just take the declaration of martial law to enforce a smoking ban. I mean, I can't count the number of times I ride down the elevator in my apartment building just after a smoker has been enjoying himself in there -- sans ashtray, mind you. Clubbing is fun here, but the price you pay for a full night (and morning) out is a stench in your clothes, your hair, your facial stubble, your eyelashes that is so saturated that you need an industrial cleanser to get it out.

No smoking ban on the horizon here. Not sure what I can do about that. But the first hint of one that I see, I'm jumping on it.